The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
“The Old Walking Song” sang by Bilbo Baggins as he left the Shire
The Fellowship of the Ring – J.R.R. Tolkien
A
week ago right now I was feeling pretty good, and on the final push to finish
the “Ice Age Trail 50;” a fifty mile ultra marathon on the Ice Age Trail in
Wisconsin’s Southern Unit of the Kettle Moraine State Forest. The morning began at 4:00 a.m. when I got up
and went through my prerace ritual and preparation. The entire family of Cindy, Todd, Jodi, and I
left the hotel in the dark and were at the start for the race by a little after
5:00. The lot was filling steadily as
runners and their crews began filing in; just north of the corners known as La
Grange. I had picked up my registration
packet the night before, complete with a long sleeve shirt, race number, and
timing chip. Since it was my first
ultra, I had splurged and also bought a new hat with the race logo on it. The hat only cost $10 and I figured it could
become my new trout fishing hat, as my old Primo’s hat slowly disintegrates.
In
temperatures somewhere in the mid to upper 30’s, I got out and surveyed the
starting area. I used the bathroom and
then came back where the rest of the family was waiting in the Jeep trying to
stay warm. We laughed, and joked, and
although I was amped, I felt as though I was about as relaxed as I could
get. When I headed back out a second
time, I put the bags I had prepared the night before onto the tarps labeled for
drops #2 & #3. These were set
stations where they would take our bags to have ready should I need their
contents. I had filled mine with items
such as energy gel packs, a baggie filled with my homemade energy bars, and
band aids (to cover possible blisters).
In addition, I threw extra socks and my newer shoes in the #2 bag. In bag #3 I added as extra shirt and
shorts. As it turned out, I only used
two items from these two bags as the aid/fuel stations they provided were
fantastic; but it was nice to know I had back-up just in case.
These
are the things I remember. These are the
things I can put into words. The next
eleven hours are a slight blur, and hard to describe. How can I give the race it’s just due? How can I pay respect to something you almost
need to experience to understand?
Suddenly
the race was on as I began a surreal journey.
I had decided to bring my phone so I could document portions of the run
and try to capture snippets of the day.
I began by taking a video while running under the start banner. At the same time I was trying to start my
watch. The first nine mile loop we ran
clockwise on the cross country ski trail.
It’s a bit wider of a trail and the land was beautiful with continuous
hills and vistas. I eventually hooked up
with a guy named Dan Haight from the Cincinnati area. We talked and visited as we ran the 2nd
half of that loop. He had run a few of
these types of races before and does triathlons as well. At one point some sun screen I was carrying,
worked its way up and popped out of the back of my pack. I wouldn’t need it on this day, but a lady ran
it up to me none-the-less.
After
looping back to the original start, Dan and I said good-bye and parted
ways. I decided to peel some layers now
that I was warmed up. I took my shoes
off and removed my running tights. I
kept on my calf sleeves as I retied my shoes.
I also removed one of my long sleeve shirts. The articles that I removed, I gave to my
family. At the same time Dan Sears, a
friend from church who was running the 50K that was soon to start, said I was
doing great and that his son Tyler was just ahead of me. I said my good-byes and took off again. There was something much more relaxing about
this process. There was still a feeling
of needing to move along, but I didn’t feel frantic. I
ran on for roughly another mile and a half until I arrived at “Confusion
Corner.” I turned left and made my way
down and onto the Ice Age Trail; a single track path, winding gradually to the
southwest. As I passed through the
groves of white and red pines I filmed myself again; so far, so good.
I eventually caught up to Tyler and we talked
for a while before I moved on. He was
nursing an IT band along as he recovers from a different 50 mile run that he
had completed a few weeks ago; all in preparation for a 100 mile race in the
fall with his Dad.
My
family met me at the next station/road crossing near mile 13. I waved, talked briefly, grabbed some food,
and had the workers add some water and HEED to my bottle (I always mixed it ½
and ½ when I needed it refilled). The
foods I tended to grab probably sound slightly bizarre as I list them
separately, but it’s what I craved. I
usually ate a few chocolate chip cookies, maybe an Oreo, one or two squares of
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (cut into quarters just like Mom did back in
the day). For salt I always had a dill
pickle (I loved those!), and a handful of pretzels on my way out.
Soon
after that I caught up and talked to Jason whom I knew and had talked to just
before the start. I moved ahead after a
few miles and ran with a group along the ridge above Lake La Grange. Two people were in a canoe fishing the
shoreline. It looked peaceful and I
could only hope they were catching something, for although I was comfortable,
they had to be chilled. It was there,
around the fifteen mile mark, that the lead guy went zipping by us like a deer;
having already reached the end of this section and turned around. It was pretty incredible. Most of us ran the straight-a-ways and downhills
while walking the uphills; he wasn’t. It
was about 2 hours and 45 minutes into the race and he was already at about the
27 or 28 mile mark! Unlike a road
marathon, the terrain was crazy cool, and full of roots, rocks, and ruts; plus
he had to dodge all of us. I will say
that almost everyone was cordial and we’d have a quick word of encouragement
for each other as we passed other runners.
At this same point the inside of my left knee began to hurt. I tried stretching out my left leg when I
took a break, and pulled my calf sleeve up as far as I could to try to support
it. I began running in front of a guy
who lived near Milwaukee and worked at a recycling company south of the city. I told him about our environmental club at
school and some of the things we’ve done.
Unfortunately I didn’t get his name, and I don’t think I’d recognize him
as I only caught glimpses of him while he was behind me. Our conversation helped distract me from my knee
however.
I
passed the drop bag site#2 at aid station #5.
I was 17 miles in and doing ok.
My family was back at the hotel getting breakfast at this point, but
would rejoin me at this station when I returned.
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| My Beloved Crew |
I grabbed some food and continued on. I believe I had one of my energy bars and a
Hammer gel through this stretch. I also
referred to my bib several different times.
I had my two preset mantras written on it; plus a third I had added from
my friend Scott Rogers (with an adverb as to how I would meet that
struggle). I also added the verses from
Isaiah 40:29-31. It was perfect. I had written it upside down so all I had to
do was flip it up to read it right side up.
Those words kept me going through that next stretch until the turn
around; that and the occasional texts that came through. I never responded to them, but I’d read them
when I could; when I was walking the hills and not as likely to trip, stumble,
or fall. Just before the turnaround I
saw Dan, who I had run with on the first loop, and gave him a shout out. At the turn around itself (a little after
10:00 a.m.), I grabbed some food and sent a text to Cindy to let her know where
I was. At the same time she told me they
were waiting for me back at aid station#5 on Highway#12 where my drop bag
was. I was struggling a little still,
anticipating my knee continuing to be sore.
A guy was dressed in an overcoat and a squid hat with a fake beard and
mustache; yelling at us from up in a tree.
It was pretty funny and I laughed before continuing on.
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| At The Rice Lake Turnaround |
Along this return route I could see the
people behind me, and so I focused on encouraging them. I also made the decision to change out my
socks and shoes when I got to the 26 mile mark and the station where my family
was. It spurred me on. My newer shoes were the exact same make, and model,
and colors. The silver and blue Brooks
Ghost (8th edition) from the good ole Runner’s Image store in
Rockford. I really like the shoe. I only had about 14 miles on the newer ones,
plus one day of teaching on my hard-tiled science room floor. They were broke in. I likened it in my mind to Jesus changing water
into wine. In John 2, after Jesus did
this miracle, the master of the wedding said to the bridegroom that at most
banquets they start with the choice wine first, and then bring out the cheaper
wine later. But he saved the best until
last. I don’t drink alcohol or wine
myself, but I was looking forward to finishing in my “choice shoes,” and see if
that would help.
The
sun was out a bit, and the temperatures edged up into the 40’s as I came out to
Highway#12.
I waited with the volunteers
for the traffic to clear and made my way over to my family. I grabbed my drop bag, took my shoes and
socks off, put on some fresh Vaseline between my toes and then put on my newer
socks and shoes. It made all of the
difference.
I felt better right away, and ran great on my way back to Confusion Corner. I also got some Ibuprofen from a girl I
happened to pass. I decided to take it
and see if that would help too. I loved
the views on the ridge above Lake LaGrange again, and while running by myself I
sent a few videos to some guys I went to college with, some guys I’ve run with
on Sundays, and one to my friend and roommate from college, Tim Johnson.
It’s a surreal feeling
when you reach these higher miles, as they kind of melt away one after the
other. Although not perfect, it was a
utopia, like living through a vision quest on my feet. I tried focusing on the pathway, the journey,
the scenery, and my motivation written on the back of my bib number. I believe it was in this section that I ran
in front of a girl from the Duluth area.
I joked that if this race was up where she lived, we could ice afterwards in
sacred Lake Superior. We ran and talked
together a little for a couple of miles.
I wouldn’t recognize her though, as I never really saw her. It’s funny how you can share time together
and then move on. Eventually I did move
ahead and she disappeared. I was by
myself again for a while. It was at
these times that I prayed my way through my family and friends; naming each one
individually with specific requests. My
focus would go in and out, but the miles marched onward as I progressed through
those I knew.
I saw my family off
Bluff Rd at about mile #31 or #32. Once
I again crossed Confusion Corner, I ran and eased my way around the side of a
hill before walking up “Bald Bluff.”
That was a crazy hill but it offered a great view. My hamstrings felt a little quivery after
that climb, and the couple of inclines after that. I needed those muscles to stay with me a
little longer. Unbeknownst to me, the
lead guy was finishing at about that same time.
I had just missed seeing him before he turned off this new section I was
on that was heading to the northeast. I
started slowing down in this section of mileage in the mid to late 30’s. My right knee started bothering me as well,
in the same spot it had on my left knee earlier in the morning. I stopped and stretched my legs a little.
I needed to get to aid station #10 and the
turnaround at the Emma Carlin Trailhead.
The skies occasionally spit bb’s of ice pellets as I pressed on. At the Horserider’s Camp (aid station#9 and
mile#37) I sent a text to Cindy and said I was struggling and perhaps needed
some more Ibuprofen or something like that for my knee. They said they were waiting for me. I saw Dan from Cincy as he was heading back
to the finish, and so I called out his name again as we ran by each other. About a half mile from the turnaround I
tripped and almost fell on some gravel.
I grabbed my left hamstring to keep it from cramping, because it felt
like it almost did from the sudden jump to keep my balance. As I neared the turnaround station, the music
they were jamming drew me in. These
people were pumped and I needed that!
As
I came near, my family came into focus; Todd, Jodi, and Cindy. But wait, there was more! Two of my cousins, Brad and Sean, were
standing there grinning too. I could
hardly wrap my brain around the picture I was seeing. I was trying to keep my emotions together as
I still had 10 more miles to run.
I gave
hugs all around, took my Ibuprofen, we posed for pictures, and then I grabbed
some food. At a few of the stops I had
ginger ale. I usually don’t drink pop,
but that seemed to hit the spot. I think
I had it 2 or 3 times, and one of those times may have been at that
station. My family and cousins all said
they would see me at the finish. I took
off feeling renewed, and refreshed like I was at the beginning of the race
again; with no pain in my right knee.
As I passed people
still running into the turnaround, I tried to encourage them and let them know
that the station they needed for energy was just up ahead. I took a few more videos and sent them out;
one to Scott Rogers, one to my teaching team, one to my parents , and one in
general as an encouragement to all who persevere in life; for in life, the
struggle in real. These videos took a
bit of time, but I just wanted to send a few out, and so I did.
With about 5 miles
left, two guys joined up behind me. I
was running fairly strong and consistent at that point. I was literally being drawn to the
finish. I could feel the pull and felt
good. They told me they would just follow
because I had a good pace going. We
walked the hills fairly quickly, and ran the flats and downhills strong;
clicking off one at a time. I stumbled
once more in this stretch, and almost kissed the rocks at my feet, but somehow
held on and grabbed my hamstring again to keep it together. I regained my wits and balance and we continued
talking as we ran. One of the two guys
was concerned about the mileage, and where he was at, because his watch was off
track. Mine had quit completely about 2
hours before that. The other guy and I
assured him that we still had some miles to go, but that we were close. We went up and over Bald Bluff with much less
fan-fair than what it took me to get over it the first time. I made one more video for my friend Tim with
about 3 miles to go, before coming down to Young Road at aid station#8. At that point the two guys I had been running
with said to go ahead, and that they were going to rest and fuel up a bit
longer. I told them I’d see them at the finish
and took off. I knew I was close to
finishing in eleven hours. If I could, I
wanted to try to be under that time.
This section was familiar to me because I had run it a few weeks before
on a practice run. I wanted to run the
hills now too, but still slowed enough to walk the bigger ones and take my
time. I reminded myself that I wanted to
finish. I stuck to the game plan. I passed some people walking who encouraged
me on.
As the finish neared, nobody else
was around me. I saw the crowd, my
family, the mats I needed to cross for my chip time (I almost stopped too
soon), and the finisher arch. I finished
in 10:58:29. They handed me my finisher’s
belt buckle and then I met my family.
My first thought was, “Wow,
I thought I’d be more emotional than this!”
I think some of the edge was taken off when my school had given me a
send off assembly two days prior to the race. The rest of my
emotions were left on the course itself and while seeing my family throughout
the race. That changed, however, when I
suddenly focused in and realized that my Mom and Dad were a part of the crowd
at the finish line. I lost it a bit at
that point. They had seen and been a
part of me accomplishing my goal.
Apparently when they got my video with about 6 miles left, they realized
they could get up to the race from their house before I finished. So they put our dogs (who they were watching
for us) into their kennel cage, and headed up to the Kettle Moraine.
We talked, and
celebrated, and took pictures. We
cheered on a few other finishers, including the two guys I had run with towards
the end. My parents then left. I got some food; a brat with sauerkraut, some
fruit and a scoop of some sort of casserole.
It all tasted delicious. My
cousins then left to head back home. I
was getting chilled, but we waited for a bit with Dan Sears to see his son
Tyler finish. While Cindy was cheering
me on at the 40 mile turnaround earlier, Tyler’s wife and family noticed her
wearing her classic Prairie Hill School jacket (from back in the day). It turned out that I had had Tyler’s wife in
class, and I remembered her family well; a small world indeed.
Out of 372 people who
started the 50 mile race, 296 finished.
I placed 186th, with a little over a 13 minute/mile
pace. Those are the stats, but more
importantly I enjoyed the adventure, I finished the goal and race, and I met
the struggle. I’d like to think I met
the struggle in a valiant way. As I said
in many of the video snippets I took along the raceway, the struggle was real
as life can be for anyone. My struggle
happened to be by choice, but it was a choice made after a lot of heartache,
and training (that I mentioned in my last blog-entry).
People have asked me to
describe the race, or have asked me how it went. Amazingly, some of the details only started
coming back to me as I wrote it out for this blog. I suppose in that way, the writing has been
therapeutic. I liken the decision
making, training, support from family and friends and the many volunteers,
along with the run itself, to something the American runner, Ryan Hall once
talked about in a video I can no longer find.
In it he mentioned this idea called, “Transcendental Performance.” It’s when you do something that enters a
spiritual realm. I like that phrase
because it helps make sense of what I experienced, witnessed, and accomplished. If I had to describe how I felt leading up to
the Ice Age Trail 50 I would say, excited, panic-stricken, painful, sore,
adventurous, emotional, strong, and satisfied.
I put my hope in the Lord, and he put people and experiences in my life
to spur me on. I ran, and although I was
tired, I did not grow weary and want to stop.
I walked but was not faint. He
gave me strength and power on this day to help me finish this section of the
race; this section of my life. If I had
to sum up the experience in one word, I would easily respond, “REDEMPTIVE!” Thank you all; thank you dear God.
See you along The Way…
A great song with great lyrics captures the feelings:
