A Marriage In The Misty Shadows

  Somewhere through the misty shadows of the last three-plus decades of my married life, I see pictures and videos playing out through my mind.  Perhaps it’s like the days of old when my parents and grandparents would break out a slide projector, or reel to reel movie projector; the bright light on the white backdrop allowing my sisters and me to make silhouetted figures with our hands.

  The pictures in my mind are fleeting though, and it’s difficult  for me to focus on them before they change and move forward onto the next one.  Why can’t we slow them down, and allow me to see the details, and recognize where and when it was taken?  I’m not sure who’s in charge of the timing of the slides, but I’m pretty sure that I don’t like the speed of the transitions.

  Even so, I am fortunate that I can grasp onto snippets of those fleeting scenes.  Some of the pictures are of Cindy and me finishing college, preparing for a wedding, and student teaching.  We were the last ones to leave our reception, after visiting with friends and family all afternoon, and then we enjoyed a honeymoon at a cabin tucked away in Northern Michigan’s Northwoods under a deep blanket of freshly fallen snow.  Some of the pictures are from our early years of teaching and coaching when we were only slightly older than the kids themselves.  Those were special times; the students and staff were close.

  I remember excerpts of scenes when we wanted children of our own, couldn’t have children of our own, and then by some miracle were blessed with children of our own; two children to be exact.  A family for Cindy and me, with Todd and Jodi.

  At that point, the mental snapshots exponentially explode into a bazillion shards of memories.  Name a topic, and I’ve got a story full of pictures that include laughter, tears, silence, and heart-warming smiles.  They are topics of visuals such as parties, lessons learned, vacations, playgrounds, swimming, toys, and snow.  Of course you can’t forget classrooms, camping, friends, hobbies, sports, pets, meals, jobs, holidays, and graduations.

  And now as the slides and videos run rampant; strewing pictures and film across the floor of the editing room in my brain’s audio/visual department, I reach forward and hit the pause button.  The picture frozen on the screen is one from a week ago.  It’s a picture of my son’s wedding.  He’s smiling and holding onto his beautiful, and talented wife.  Pictures of friends and family with whom we shared this day spiral, swirl, and spin.  Familiar bonds meld with new acquaintances; the blending of worlds.  Somehow the sound continues to play and I hear again the speeches spoken, and the words used to describe our son and daughter-in-law.  Mentioned are character traits fueled by a spiritual commonality; love, integrity, honesty, and inclusion are a few of the qualities that each possess.  Enough is said from the mouths of the various close friends, that it is truth spoken from the heart; truth that makes a parent proud and easily forget the tough times.  Or perhaps it’s enough to reflect and feel that the tough times, in conjunction with the great ones, were all well worth it to lead up to this particular time; the wedding day and the marriage of Todd and Emeris.  It’s a clear picture in the misty shadows of my mind.

  See you along The Way...

Mother-Son Dance With Cindy & Todd

Cindy With Jodi Who Was A Bridesmaid

Emeris & Todd
Courtesy of "Fine Detailed Photography"

Courtesy of "Fine Detailed Photography"

A Proud Dad Taking It All In

Novel Stories, The Rule Of 3's, And Moving From Surviving To Thriving

I’ve been “stuck” as of late.  The term “stuck” was used by the character Leslie Burke in the novel Bridge To Terabithia by Katherine Paterson.  She would use the word to describe her Mom (who was an author) when she couldn’t think of what to write next.  I guess that applies to me too. Part of being stuck has been the lack of an opportunity. Part of it has been the lack of a noteworthy adventure.  Part of it has been the lack of any spark of energy or desire to put a pen to paper. Sometimes I feel like I’m just trying to survive.

But then to survive, a person needs to move beyond what has commonly been referred to as the “Rule of 3’s.”  As fifth grade teachers we used to teach and lead kids through the novel Hatchet by Gary Paulsen.  Our efforts to bring a novel to life were personal, heartfelt, and holistic.  As we introduced students to the setting within the boreal forests of wild Canada, and the character named Brian Robeson, we went through those “Rule of 3’s.”  It was important to understanding the story to help predict if Brian had any chance of surviving alone in the North. It was also important for us to learn as readers, as it allowed us to focus on the basics for life.  Only then can we move from basic surviving to heartfelt thriving.

The “Rule of 3’s” starts with the smallest measurement of time and works its way up.  In an emerging situation you have an average of about 3 seconds to latch on to hope and avoid panicking, which can otherwise paralyze you.  A person can survive about 3 minutes without oxygen before it severely affects the brain. They will probably pass out before that, but it’s important to know prior to crawling into a snow cavern or hole in the Earth.  Within 3 hours you need shelter. This includes shade when it’s hot, and a way to stay warm when it’s cold. In addition to this is a covering of clothes. This might seem slightly bizarre, but without clothes as a simple layer of shelter, even normally comfortable temperatures can cause a person to fall into hypothermia as it’s well below our needed temperature of 98.6°F.  The next level to understand the basics of survival is 3 days without water. These measurements are an average, but without proper hydration a body, made up of approximately 70% water, is going to rob muscles of the water they need to function properly; cramping, confusion, and a swollen tongue are some of the symptoms that are sure to follow. The final rule of 3 is that a human can survive about 3 weeks without food.  Twenty-one days is the premise behind a few popular survival type TV shows. After this many days the body has been stealing so much energy and nutrients from itself that nothing is left; fatigue sets in and the body’s organs begin to shut down.

And so since I know the “Rule of 3’s,” and want to live a life that moves from surviving to thriving, I needed a kick-start; at least to begin writing.  Running, as I’ve blogged on before (Click on last month’s entry entitled “Twofer”), has provided some of the motivation that I need. The other part of it came a couple of weekends ago.  Somehow in the midst of everything else that I happened to be doing over that weekend, I came upon a Charles Martin book on one of our shelves. In the past I have liked how he writes, and the descriptiveness of both the setting and his characters.  For quite some time, however, I haven’t read a book or allowed myself to escape into someone else’s story. When I picked up his book on that day, and started reading the first chapter, I became entranced and hooked. It felt wholesome and complete. I read that book in a week’s time; reading it from cover to cover in front of our fireplace over the weekend, and before going to bed on school days.  Sometimes after finishing a good book it’s hard to jump into another story, but I did just that to keep the distraction going. After a rather lengthy sabbatical, I’ll have read two books in two weeks. Although it involved reading, it helped kick start my desire to write and tell a story.

Speaking of a story, I’m looking forward to this winter; the preparation of my gear, walks in the woods, and food cooked on an iron skillet over an open fire.  Until then I have my running. When I run I’m in the elements, sometimes with friends, and with an opportunity to push myself.

Last month I ran in Chicago for my fifteenth marathon.  My wife Cindy and I stayed at a hotel that was fairly close to the start; close enough that it was within reach of Saturday’s Expo and Packet Pick-up as well as the Team World Vision celebration dinner.  It was both humbling and motivational to be a part of TWV. I was able to make a final push the night before the race, and achieve my fundraising goal. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your graciousness and kind words my family and friends!  The funds we raised brings fresh, clean water to children and communities in Africa by drilling wells. It’s a simple idea that keeps people from picking up diseases, getting sick, and often dying. The efforts of running and giving are well worth the sacrifice.  Speaking of World Vision and the “Rule of 3’s,” I was personally able to raise over $3,000, the Heartland Church Team that I ran for raised over $300,000, and TWV as a whole (with all of the various individuals & teams working together) raised over $3,000,000 at the Chicago Marathon.  These numbers are staggering. The people that it will help is unbelievable.

It was with these thoughts that I ran the race on that cold, Sunday morning.  We watched 45 minutes of runners begin the race before our chute was released and brought down into the starting area.  Just short of 46,000 runners would complete the Chicago Marathon on that day. I ran with my friends Louie and Zach for the first 5 miles.  We weaved back and forth finding various people that we knew (amazingly enough with well over a million spectators), and enjoyed the event itself. As Zach started moving ahead, I would hang back and talk to Louie before speeding up to keep Zach in my sights.  Soon after the 5 mile mark and Lincoln Park, Zach and I stayed together and began churning out the miles. When I saw my wife Cindy at the halfway point, I stopped and handed her my hat & mittens and took off the long sleeve shirt that I had on under my TWV jersey.  I stretched out my hamstrings, said goodbye, and continued running. I managed to catch up to Zach around the twenty mile mark. We talked and ran together for a couple of miles before he said that he was going to continue his consistent, steady pace. I decided to move forward and see if I could still try to finish around the 4 hour mark.  I didn’t, but it was a strong enough finish that I felt good about it. I finished in 18,186th place (1,329 in my 50-54 age group) with a time of 4:05:39. Towards the end my right hamstring got a little tight, and I was nervous it might cramp like it has in some past marathons, but it held together. It was fun to see Cindy & her friends a few more times before the end, and knowing I was running for a cause that would benefit others helped me to float over the finish line.  I felt as though I could have run faster, but at the same time that wasn’t my overall goal for this particular race. I wanted to enjoy the journey, my friends, and the atmosphere. I was able to do that. Goal achieved.

By the end of the day, I ended up covering about 35 miles between my walk to the start early that morning, the marathon itself, the walk to the TWV tent, the trek back to the hotel, and then the hike to a restaurant and back after I got cleaned up.

One of the more memorable moments of the day was when a lady stepped out in front of me during the race and yelled, “You are Relentless!”  Indeed I was. I liked that descriptive gift that she gave, and it powered me forward into the masses.

Survival happens within the realm of meeting one’s basic needs; survival through the “Rule of 3’s.”  Knowing that we’re all part of a story, and then by looking forward with anticipation to opportunities where I can add to my story, I move from surviving to thriving.  Perhaps I’m “unstuck” from those roadblocks that have recently kept me from writing and experiencing the spirit of adventure. The obstacles that hamstring us in life and try to steal our hope, joy, or motivation don't necessarily go away, but with a relentless spirit I can run, thrive, and forge ahead into new chapters of my own life’s story.

See you along The Way...

__________________

PICTURES FROM THE MARATHON WEEKEND:

McCormick Place Convention Center

Running For TWV

The Team World Vision Celebration Dinner The Night Before

My Walk To The Starting Line Over The Chicago River

With Friends Zach And Louie - Very Early In The Morning!

At The Team World Vision Tent For A Pre-Race Rally

The TWV Tent - A Welcome Sight After The Marathon

 

Cindy And I
It Takes A Whole Team, And We Did It : )

With Zach After His First Marathon

With Long Time Friend Louie

Cindy And I With Dana And Louie In The TWV Tent
Our "Support Crew"

With Friend Terry Barnett

No Matter Where I Go
I Can Find A Link To My Heritage
And The State Of Michigan

The Old Dearborn Train Station
With A Restaurant Where We Could Eat!

Cindy And I Found Bar Louie on Polk Street
To Eat, Relax, And Debrief From The Day

A Perfect Post-Race Meal To End The Day

Twofer

Summer Training Shoes-Brooks Ghost 11's

So I run.  I’ve run since I was a wee lad.  Sometimes I’ve run slow, sometimes I’ve run fast, but more often than not, I’ve run for fun. (Click on and see: “Running Part#1: The History” - from the Spring of 2016)

Now on the brink of my fifteenth marathon, this time in downtown Chicago, I find myself reflecting on the reasons why.  I think I’ve narrowed it down to two specific reasons, although it could probably be argued that each of those reasons most likely contains subsets of notable significance.  Regardless, I like to think of it as a “Twofer;” two reasons to run, rolled into one.

The first of these reasons involves running as an escape.  I know I can’t run away from anything, but sometimes it provides an outlet that allows me to refocus; even when I may seemingly start the run without a whole lot in the tank.  Sometimes my mind slips into a dream phase while I run, where I am accomplishing something, or saying something, that apparently must be important deep within the brain. As I mentioned in my last blog two months ago, this past summer’s responsibilities kept me from being able to get into the out of doors as much as I would like.  The outdoors is typically where I recharge to do what I do. I remember when I first started this blog, and how I could could go out fishing, hiking, or kayaking almost every couple of weekends, and then come home and write a blog entry for that adventure. It pains me to say that directives during the school year, to make things “easier”, have sometimes kept me from being able to do what I long to do as well.  And so I have my running. Thank God; literally.

During the week I often run on my own, and that’s helped fill the void of thinking and exploring; a mental and physical outlet that somehow fuels me even as it drains me.  Irony! On the weekends I’ve run with friends; new and old. When you run in a group, you can feel the pull and motivation that comes from a pack mentality. The miles slip by when you’re running, talking, and listening to others alongside you.  These are the things that make up reason number one.

In addition to running as an escape, my second reason for running is to help others.  Often that involves grabbing some friends, coming up with a goal race and training plan, and then providing some motivation to help them achieve it.  Sometimes I find that I can motivate others through phone texts or personal conversations; words have power and strength. At other times I can supply the motivation by simply providing opportunities, such as letting them know when I’m going out for a run in case they want to join me.  

For this fifteenth marathon I’m also running for Team World Vision.  I did back in 2008 and 2009; years I was also trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon.  In both cases I injured myself about a month from the race and had to struggle to finish under excruciating pain; figuring it was the least I could do to honor those who had supported me and donated money to my goal of bringing fresh water to African communities who need it.  In many of those villages, women and children walk many miles for contaminated water that can make them deathly sick. For those marathons, running on injured legs didn’t seem worth complaining about, even despite the extreme disappointment of dashed dreams.

This year my goal continues to be to raise funds for World Vision; running for others and supported by many.  It’s a goal to help others beyond my community, and fortunately at this point, I feel strong and healthy going into the marathon itself.  After backing down in mileage while coaching basketball for a few months at the start of the year, I officially started back into a base work of training in late March.  Since then I’ve ran countless miles. Well, I could probably figure it out, but I get bored trying to keep mileage journals like I used to do, and if you know me at all, the new fangled watches that synchronize with some programs on your computer just aren’t me.  I’m more ninja than cyborg. I’ve run three different races throughout the year as part of training, and I loved all of them for different reasons; the Rockford 4th of July 8K tradition, the 12K Run Clark Lake family heritage, and the Byron Tiger 10 Miler for the challenge and beauty.  The Runner’s Image store in Rockford continues to be my supplier through it all...with running shoes that is! And for many years now, the Brooks Ghost have been the shoe of choice.

Those are some of the details, but when you sift through it all, I love to run.  I run for the mental escape from the tough days or seasons we have throughout life, and I run to help others.  I’ve run this particular year, the year 2019, to prepare for the Chicago Marathon. As I’ve mentioned, it’s my fifteenth marathon, and the fourth time I’ve run Chicago.  My wife Cindy and I will head into the Windy City next weekend. I’m looking forward to running this one injury free, and I’m hoping I can carry that through the entire 26.2 miles.  I’m also looking forward to running for those who have sponsored me through World Vision; remembering the kids, families, and communities that will be affected by the monies raised by our Team.  Breathe deep, this is going to be an adventuresome “Twofer;” a weekend to run where I can escape among over a million people, to help communities on the Flip-side of the world.

See you along The Way...

THE PICS LEADING UP TO THE MARATHON

Zach And I Signing Up For The Marathon With The Heartland Team

One Of Our First Group Runs Along The Rock River Bike Path-Early Spring

Training On Trails

Training On The Stone Bridge Trail

Training On The Rock River Bike Path

Team World Vision Heartland - Early Summer
Zach's In The Fluorescent Shirt, And I'm To His Left

Rockford's "Lifescape 4th Of July Classic" 8K Race

Cousin Brian & I Running Michigan's North-wood Trails
The First 5 Miles Of A 10 Mile Training Run

Cousin Brad & I Running
The Second 5 Miles Of My 10 Mile Training Run

Sean, Brad, Brian, And I Running In The Heat
On A Dirt Road In Northern Michigan

Morning Run On My Birthday

Cousin Brian And I Finishing Strong In
The "Run Clark Lake" Race in Michigan (August)

Stretching Out And Enjoying The View Of The Rock River Valley
Before Byron, Illinois' "Tiger 10 Miler"

Tiger 10 Miler
I Love This Type Of Running!

Finishing The Tiger 10 Miler

Doug, Justin, Amy, And I After The Tiger 10 Miler

I Actually Ran This Race Faster Than I did Last Year
And Finished Second In My Age Group Again.
After Race Party At The "Hairy Cow" In Byron, Illinois

Running On September 11th

I Ran 9.11 Miles In Honor Of September 11th

Part Of The Team World Vision Team That I Run With.
(L-R) Andrea, Chris (el Capitan), Me, Jake, Brian, Louie, Zach, And Terry
This Was After Finishing Our 20 Mile Training Run

In High School My Senior Motto In The Yearbook Was
"Save The Trees, Save Your Lunch Bags."
For Every Team Run, I get A Cup And Use It Over & Over Through The Miles
After The 20 Miler, This One Was Pretty Beat Up!  : )

Last Team Run - An 8 Miler On Saturday, October 5th
I'm About 4 People Over From The Jerry Can In The Front

New Ghost 12's Broken In For The Chicago Marathon

Video: Final Comments A Week Out From The Race: