"After standing a
few minutes beside Cindy, I went over and stood beside the baby who was being
monitored by the nurse. It was then that I whispered her name into her
ear twice. I was able to then carry her back over to Cindy..."
*From
a journal I kept before, and after, Jodi's birth.
With
rivers running ice free now and their levels falling to their normal
"pre-spring rain" flowage, fishing season is just around the
corner. I look forward to getting into water during the warmer
seasons. Ninety some percent of the time I'm in some out-of-the-way
creek, stream, or river fishing for trout. The other ten or so percent
I'm probably floating a river in a kayak, looking for bass or pike; usually
with my cousins. Those are things I look forward to. Getting out
and fishing moving water, for me, is as much a passion as hiking in during the
winter, and early spring, to cook a meal in the woods. I usually partake in
such a cold weather endeavor with friends, family and at least a few times solo.
So as the seasons change, and one passion comes to an end while another is
about to start, I scheduled a date to go out at least one last time; this time
with my daughter Jodi.
We've wanted to get out for a while now, and Spring Break gave us that opportunity. We
always enjoy talking, eating meals over a fire and taking fun pictures
together. As we hiked along the road we looked for an access point into
the woods. Once in, we released the dogs, wandered along an age old oxbow in
a mixture of hardwoods and bottom-lands, and then looked for a place to make
camp for a couple of hours. We found some kindling and sticks for our
fire and then cooked our meal.
I watched her and listened to her.
It's a strange thing to see your kids growing up. When I see Jodi,
different visions, both from pictures and memories, come to mind. It's
mind boggling really.
I see
her making dresses for her "Pinky Bear" out of carefully torn and
tied baby wipes (complete with a veil). I see her running up and down a
snowy hill with her sled in tow. I see her running by to quickly thump
her older brother Todd and then putting herself into timeout (apparently she
had weighed the consequences and decided it was worth it & then imposed her
own discipline). I see her practicing various hair styles on her dolls
and then trying them on herself or friends. I see her learning to ride
her little, two-wheeled bike on the baseball field behind Bloom Elementary
School.
I see her painting pictures to hang on our refrigerator. I
see her and Todd designing forts for each other in the living room (decorated
with blankets, pictures and stuffed animals), and then spending the night in
them. I see her growing in her confidence and love for reading when she
had struggled to connect with words in the beginning. I see her watching
the classic Little House on the Prairie series and then progressing
through The Waltons. I see her feistiness and emotion when
competing in sports. I see her weaving pouches and hats out of yarn with
her looms. I see her rhythm while running. I see her curling up on
the couch to watch You've got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, Anne
of Green Gables, or Little Women; four of her favorite movies.
I see her sitting at the table working on homework. I see her asleep, and
out like a light, in her crib or sleeping bag.
I see her smile and laugh;
especially at something witty. I see her being content to sit in her room
working on projects. I see her being shy and staying close to Cindy &
me. I see her being silly and having fun with friends. I see her in
my arms, as I carry her from the car to her bed, after a late night. I see
her being stubborn or frustrated and throwing a fit. I see her being
kind-hearted. I see her describing dreams for her future. I see her
helping Cindy bake goodies in the kitchen. I see her swimming until her
skin was wrinkled like a prune. I see her playing with babies or toddlers
in the nursery at church. I see her having deep and meaningful
conversations with Cindy. I see her love to go to bed early, read and
then fall asleep. I see her struggle to get up. I see her staring out
the car window at clouds in the sky. I see her sitting on the shore of
one of the Great Lakes with wind in her hair. I see her telling me, when
she was little, that she wanted me to do something to her belly; tickling, the
thing that you hate to love. I see her excited about getting ready to
visit and spend time with family. I see her having great times for
devotion and reflection. I see her Snapchatting with friends, or pinning
fun pictures on Pinterest. I see her riding her old fashioned bike around
the neighborhood. I see her drawing with sidewalk chalk on our sidewalk
or driveway. I see her dressing up for a school dance.
When I see Jodi, different visions from pictures and memories come to
mind. I see her; the girl who's becoming a young woman. I see my
girl; the girl who's name I once whispered into her ear at birth.
See you along The Way...
