Tuesday, April 7, 2015

I See Her



"After standing a few minutes beside Cindy, I went over and stood beside the baby who was being monitored by the nurse.  It was then that I whispered her name into her ear twice.  I was able to then carry her back over to Cindy..."
*From a journal I kept before, and after, Jodi's birth.
 
     With rivers running ice free now and their levels falling to their normal "pre-spring rain" flowage, fishing season is just around the corner.  I look forward to getting into water during the warmer seasons.  Ninety some percent of the time I'm in some out-of-the-way creek, stream, or river fishing for trout.  The other ten or so percent I'm probably floating a river in a kayak, looking for bass or pike; usually with my cousins.  Those are things I look forward to.  Getting out and fishing moving water, for me, is as much a passion as hiking in during the winter, and early spring, to cook a meal in the woods.  I usually partake in such a cold weather endeavor with friends, family and at least a few times solo.  So as the seasons change, and one passion comes to an end while another is about to start, I scheduled a date to go out at least one last time; this time with my daughter Jodi. 

We've wanted to get out for a while now, and Spring Break gave us that opportunity.  We always enjoy talking, eating meals over a fire and taking fun pictures together.  As we hiked along the road we looked for an access point into the woods.  Once in, we released the dogs, wandered along an age old oxbow in a mixture of hardwoods and bottom-lands, and then looked for a place to make camp for a couple of hours.  We found some kindling and sticks for our fire and then cooked our meal. 
I watched her and listened to her.  It's a strange thing to see your kids growing up.  When I see Jodi, different visions, both from pictures and memories, come to mind.  It's mind boggling really.
     I see her making dresses for her "Pinky Bear" out of carefully torn and tied baby wipes (complete with a veil).  I see her running up and down a snowy hill with her sled in tow.  I see her running by to quickly thump her older brother Todd and then putting herself into timeout (apparently she had weighed the consequences and decided it was worth it & then imposed her own discipline).  I see her practicing various hair styles on her dolls and then trying them on herself or friends.  I see her learning to ride her little, two-wheeled bike on the baseball field behind Bloom Elementary School. 

I see her painting pictures to hang on our refrigerator.  I see her and Todd designing forts for each other in the living room (decorated with blankets, pictures and stuffed animals), and then spending the night in them.  I see her growing in her confidence and love for reading when she had struggled to connect with words in the beginning.  I see her watching the classic Little House on the Prairie series and then progressing through The Waltons.  I see her feistiness and emotion when competing in sports.  I see her weaving pouches and hats out of yarn with her looms.  I see her rhythm while running.  I see her curling up on the couch to watch You've got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, Anne of Green Gables, or Little Women; four of her favorite movies.  I see her sitting at the table working on homework.  I see her asleep, and out like a light, in her crib or sleeping bag. 
I see her smile and laugh; especially at something witty.  I see her being content to sit in her room working on projects.  I see her being shy and staying close to Cindy & me.  I see her being silly and having fun with friends.  I see her in my arms, as I carry her from the car to her bed, after a late night.  I see her being stubborn or frustrated and throwing a fit.  I see her being kind-hearted.  I see her describing dreams for her future.  I see her helping Cindy bake goodies in the kitchen.  I see her swimming until her skin was wrinkled like a prune.  I see her playing with babies or toddlers in the nursery at church.  I see her having deep and meaningful conversations with Cindy.  I see her love to go to bed early, read and then fall asleep.  I see her struggle to get up.  I see her staring out the car window at clouds in the sky.  I see her sitting on the shore of one of the Great Lakes with wind in her hair.  I see her telling me, when she was little, that she wanted me to do something to her belly; tickling, the thing that you hate to love.  I see her excited about getting ready to visit and spend time with family.  I see her having great times for devotion and reflection.  I see her Snapchatting with friends, or pinning fun pictures on Pinterest.  I see her riding her old fashioned bike around the neighborhood.  I see her drawing with sidewalk chalk on our sidewalk or driveway.  I see her dressing up for a school dance.  

     When I see Jodi, different visions from pictures and memories come to mind.  I see her; the girl who's becoming a young woman.  I see my girl; the girl who's name I once whispered into her ear at birth.
See you along The Way...

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